Thursday, March 7, 2013

7:31 -- I need to be alone...

Sometimes, during my maternity leave
the room would spin
and the house would shrink.
The noise level would rise
and race my blood pressure.
The non-stop neediness
perforated my polite nature
and toddler trials clouded
my sun.

On an episode of 'Grey's Anatomy'
Dr. Arizona Robbins
engaged in simulation therapy
to refocus her mind
after losing a limb.
She imagined the waves,
the breeze, the sun,
and the peacefulness
of being at the beach.
I thought I could benefit,
vacillating between sane stay-at-home mom
one whose fuse was about an inch too short.

At dinner one Sunday, I confided in my brother's wife
who also has two small children.
"I just want to lay on a quiet beach
all by myself
with a book and some music
where I can nap 
if I want to."

"Oh, I get it," she giggled knowingly,
"I'd go there with you."

That wasn't the point.

Write on,


  1. I adopted my boys when they were 7 and 9, so I never did the staying at home with a baby chapter. I do have days (many of them) with my seventeen-year-old, when I imagine an old life life, when I escaped to a beach, once or twice a year, and read, nonstop for a week straight, leaving my beach chair, only to wade or go out for a nice dinner. Hope you get a little YOU time soon!

  2. I stayed at home when our children were young - it was hard, especially becasue they were few people who understood the push and pull I was feeling. I get it.

  3. I love the line "one whose fuse was about an inch too short". You won't have to look too far to find others that feel the same way. Your ending is so cute. Part time was just the best for me. xo

  4. Me time will be in short supply for a while. Perhaps you can get an hour or so a couple times a week. It isn't much but it is something and it does not take away from the joy you have with your family. Don't let the box of duty crush you.

  5. I just learned about an app called Headspace, which does daily, non-religious meditations. I'm thinking about starting it. Who couldn't use a little time for themselves, to clear their heads, every day?

    Here's the link in case you're interested.

  6. This takes me back to those busy years of child rearing. I have such admiration for my teaching friends who are in the middle of those years. Do occasionally find some time just for you (even though it will be hard to do)!

  7. These words really helped me to feel what you were feeling,
    "the room would spin
    and the house would shrink.
    The noise level would rise
    and race my blood pressure."

    I had to smile at the end when you said you wanted to be on a quiet beach by yourself and your sister-in-law was ready to join you.



Hi! I'd love to hear what you are thinking right now, so please take a sec and drop me a line. I'm so glad you stopped by today -- thanks a billion. :)