Thursday, April 16, 2020

Lost in the dangling conversation...

So, what do you write in the middle of a pandemic?
I mean, really...what?

In school Zoom calls, we always joke, "in our after-pandemic reflection meeting, we'll make sure to note...X, Y, Z, AA, AB, AC, etc." Seriously. It is like designing a license plate scheme for a state - the number of combinations you can come up with to catalog the things we wondered, noticed, learned, had to learn, and didn't even know existed a month ago is a mathematical challenge.

A heart challenge, too. If I'm honest, and you know you always can be in writing -
I want my old life back.

The wait in my car at the drive-thru and the first sip of my chai latte,
that signaled the start of a good day doing good things
for and with kids, teachers, and coaches.

But what about the special people at home
and pouring your heart and soul into them right now?
         You can do that, too.
You can bring peace where there's strife,
growth where there's stubbornness
and smiles after tears.
I've entrusted them to you.
Can you trust Me with the hills and valleys - even if it feels like there are more valleys than hills?
Even if the mundane feels...more than mundane?
And even when no one rushes back to say thank-you?
I know how that feels, too. I can help.

The time by myself in the car, 
that prepared me for the day ahead 
and the evening at home.

But why don't you depend on Me for your peace?
I've come so that you can have it, and
you spend your days thinking about what you should and could be doing
instead of where I've placed you right now.
I'll grant you quiet and space.
Can you quit depending on yourself to provide it?
My burden is light.

The ballgames. Oh, the ballgames. 
The close plays. 
The excitement. 
The stories afterward.

But what about all the extra innings I'm giving you here?
Remember, the time at home that you longed for last spring
when you were running everywhere?
Yes. That.
I'm giving it to you now. Generously.
Use it to love your team well
to grow their hearts
their minds
their can-do spirit.
Their perseverance in the eternal.
You can be their coach, too.
Will you use your own stories to help them grow?
Tell them so they can trust Me and they can trust you, too.

The time at work to 
explore new questions, 
learn new things, and 
grow new ideas.

But what about situating yourself to learn from Me?
Remember I can make a way where it feels like there is no way.
And I can do it again. And again. And, again. And, again.
And, I will.
Will you just let go of controlling the work time already?
(I feel like we've had this talk before...we can have it again.)
(And I run a better meeting - you've told me so.)
I'll provide the content, the opportunities, and the ideas.
I'm sufficient.
You can trust me. 
I give rest to those who trust.

Or, do I? Do I really want it all back?

Or, do I want to listen, learn, and practice these luxurious lessons? In this space and time that defies all reason, I'm leaning toward the latter. It's really the only thing that makes any sense right now and that would feel valuable in my own post-pandemic reflection...

Write on,

P.S. I'm so curious... How are you right now? What are you learning? 


  1. You're your classic style that proves you've been simmering as a writer. I am so glad you are writing.

    I love the perspectives and am learning some of the same lessons. Mostly, though, right now, I'm learning to stop thinking "whimsy" is silly.

    So happy to be writing buddies again!


  2. I love the way you crafted this, the back and forth, the talking with God, the reasoning, the surrendering and the wanting to be in control. All too human struggles. It is my faith in Jesus that keeps me tethered. Those promises do not change and these times draw me into deeper belief! I am a retired teacher so I am not having to deal with all those changes. I am glad to hear your voice again.

  3. I love the organization of this piece the back and forth. A very interesting structure.

  4. Oh, so happy to open blogger and find you there this morning! How am I right now? Sleepless in Seattle. Decided to open up my computer and catch up on the progressive poem, but then I noticed b was back! And your conversation was just what I needed to read this morning. I still want it back - time with my grandsons, time with friends, even time grocery shopping which I always insisted was a task I hated. But I'll try to listen, learn, and practice. The time to do it stretches forward. Thanks for your words.

  5. You are so honest and open in your writing. It is WONDERFUL to hear this voice again. We do have blessings in this time now - things we might not recognize until they fade away when the busy-ness returns. Thank you for making this so clear, and for illuminating - as always - what is most important. Reading your words again has made my day. I'll soak in this message and do my best to apply it. Such wisdom here.
    How am I right now? Doing well, thankful, and praying for our country - and the world. Asking God for His perspective on all of this.

  6. I love this back and forth moment. Wise words from the Wise One - I'm sufficient. You can trust me. I give rest to those who trust. Powerful.

  7. What a joy to read your words again! We need to listen to that second voice, it is wise. As for me, I am good. I don't mind being home, except I hate grocery shopping on-line. Stay safe and write on!

  8. Hello! So nice to meet you through #sosmagic. The realness of this interior conversation touches me. It seems so very familiar--I'm glad you shared.


Hi! I'd love to hear what you are thinking right now, so please take a sec and drop me a line. I'm so glad you stopped by today -- thanks a billion. :)