I sit here now not knowing if
the lights should be on or off
the coffee strong or weak
the pace fast or slow
the boxes empty or full
the questions
they loom like disagreeable friends
who once stood supportive
but changed
their stripes
stripes that embraced
now separate
if I'm not careful
the questions grow
bigger and bigger
closer and closer
crowding out the sunlight
from yesterday
that carries today
that may be hidden tomorrow
people say
change is what keeps us
moving forward and
objectively
it is true
what is to come will be better
but
subjectively
it is sometimes
smiles that turn into tears
without warning
and
musings that turn into fears
without end
I covet
the quietness
the peace
a nap
an opportunity
They will come.
Write on,
b
I'm so sorry that you are uncertain of what is to come now. That is difficult, but I am sure that you will be excited with what happens next, though you do not yet know what it could be! A door closes, another one opens. Look forward to the adventures. "They will come."
ReplyDeleteOh b, so sad for you. You captured all the emotions so well. Blessings for peace as you move forward during a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteI walked in your shoes 2 years ago at almost the same time of year! Make lemonade out of lemons...it's not easy when an earthquake shakes all you were certAin of. Now I'm back in a coaching role 2years later!
ReplyDeleteGood luck with whatever comes your way. You will be fine!
Sounds like you've got a change headed your way, but things are in turmoil. I hope it becomes resolved to your satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteI love how you showed your vulnerable feelings in this poem. I hope the next phase in your life is even bigger and better!
ReplyDeleteI'm in my first year as a coach and while I am unsure of these waters I would feel much like you if my ship was docked. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for you news. It seems that there will be another good place. Although you said yourself change is good, often times it isn't easy. Hopeful for you!
ReplyDeleteMy heart and soul wishes you the very best as new adventures await you:-)
ReplyDeletePowerful poem. Loved these lines:
ReplyDelete"from yesterday
that carries today"
"smiles into tears"
"musings that turn into fears"
Change is hard. There's that unsettling feeling, a constant uneasiness, that is hard to handle. All we can do is carefully step each foot forward and hope to keep our footing solid.
Cathy