FAITH.
FAMILY.
SCHOOL.
In many ways, I feel like I did savor -- I slowed down {sometimes}. I splurged by choosing the 'more fun' option over the 'responsible' option {sometimes}. I opted for the 'junk food' over the 'healthy' treat {most times -- who am I kidding?}. In many ways, though, I feel like savoring challenged the whole of my task-oriented being. Over the course of last year, I realized savoring is much bigger than me.
It requires me to allow God to reorient my life and its responsibilities.
It requires my willingness to grow out of myself to rely on Him,
even if I really want my way.
It requires a mindshift: it's Him, not me, who inspires lasting life changes.
I can see it clearly now -- I need to be refined.
In reading a bit on how gold is refined {through my non-metallurgist perspective}, the very process of its refinement impacted me most. Yielding pure gold requires many steps to remove impurities, which, of course, involve time, energy, and method. Not only does this sound familiar, but it's also highly applicable to this year's OLW.
As 2013 begins and my focus deepens from savoring life on the surface to undergoing lasting change, questions dart through my mind like errant pinballs bumping into lighted frames inside a game table. Will I make the time? Will I choose God's method over my own? Will I accept the steps by expending the necessary (and worthwhile) energy to be refined?
This isn't the first time I've stared down a new year in similar pursuit. This year, however, feels different. There's impetus; I guess a bigger WHY that feeds my longing for change. I know it won't be easy. There are no short-cuts. It will get ugly. It will take discipline. But, just as smelted gold shines radiantly in the end, so my life will grow richer, sweeter, and more inviting to bask beneath (read: savor) in years to come.
Write on,
b
You pose excellent questions, B. I am sure you will find the answers as you journey with the word refine.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Thanks, Stacey :). We shall see. Maybe my word should've been 'discipline'...
Deleteb
Awesome word choice...errant pinballs bumping into lighted frames inside a game table... This is a perfect description of my brain state so often. I love that you desire to go first with God and know that there aren't any short cuts. Ditto 100% Thank you for that clarity. XO nanc
ReplyDeleteWell, Nanc, here's to our brain states becoming more focused in 2013 ;). Thanks for sharing your thoughts...
Deleteb
I think refine is a bit of a scary word. It sounds like you are being called to be bold and brave. I can't wait to hear how it opens doors for you. Refine is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteRuth
I'd have to agree: 'refine' is scary, but I feel like it is definitely my only choice right now. Thank you, Ruth, for the encouraging words :).
Deleteb
Your post reminded me of the song "refiner's fire" (http://www.lyricsty.com/vineyard-refiners-fire-lyrics.html). I am sure your life will become even more interesting this year.
ReplyDeleteFunny; I was thinking about that song while I was writing today :). My heart's one desire...
Deleteb
Love this word choice. It's big. It's bold. I'm sure it will lead you to great places in your life. Can't wait to read about them.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Deb :). Although by choosing it, I feel small and scared instead of big and bold. I'll share my stories...
Deleteb
I will have to research some of this myself. I don't know that 'refine' is a tough word, but perhaps it's a dangerous one? Aren't many kinds of metal challenging to 'refine', with tough processes? Is that dangerous or just challenging? See that I love the idea of your word, & cannot wait to hear more. I like "a bigger WHY that feeds my longing for change."
ReplyDelete